23/01/2024
Dear Diary,

I do wonder if I have bitten off more than I can chew with this blog, but maybe I am overthinking it and trying to do it all at once when really I need to just relax and enjoy the moments In creation.
I have so many thoughts in my head and trying to pour them all out onto paper (or should I say a screen) is pretty chaotic. Don’t run before you can walk as they say.. I think I am just excited to be able to start a new venture and it’s the minds curiosity of where it can go, I have ideas for forums, sharing other peoples stories, sharing my stories, courses and webinars on the topics I know well, colour themes, layouts and this is on top of studying, parenting, working and trying to breathe in between. I must relax though, I also must read more. There is just not enough time in the day and I have recently noticed that more prominently.

I have started journaling as well which is really fun, it allows my creative/artistic side to come out after many years of not doing very much. I am trying to plan trips abroad for this year as well. Prioritising yourself and your own self-care can be harder than it looks and there is no wonder why we all forget it. The basics by themselves can be harder to do especially when you are suffering with mental health and/or experiencing burn out. It is quite common unfortunately but it also shows that you are not alone. The only downside to the creative way of journaling is the amount of money I have spent on the crafty things such as paper, stickers, stamps, etc. I am hoping it is more than a quick fixation.

Studying counselling for me has been eye-opening, but the self-reflection is something that I could have never expected. You delve deep into your subconscious and start to analyse why you are who you are, it’s not for the faint hearted especially if you have experienced trauma at any point in your life. I have been more worn out after studying than I have after work and that says something in itself. The one thing which has come out of self reflection so far is that I sought out talking therapy, which… to be honest I wasn’t motivated for but I also know that I do need to get back into therapy so this was a quick cheap way in. They referred me to a “Coping With Trauma” course and I am three weeks in so far, I can’t say I am into it that much as when you have studied/study what I do then all this is learnt, so I feel like its repeated, however I am going to persist with it and if It doesn’t help then I know foe the future.
I also know that at some point this year I need to try and give myself some solo space, maybe Fri – Mon with no screens, just pen and paper and nature, gosh I need it.

Well, this ended up more as a rant than anything else but I feel better to get it off my chest and I think that’s what diaries//blogs are for, reality.

I am heading off screens now to read my current book: One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Watch this space for a review.

Till next time…